eyes on the prize.

one of the main reasons i decided to chronicle this debt attack journey through a blog is because i know that as time goes on, i will need to have this to keep me on track, to hold myself accountable. by the end of this month i will have a little bit of money in my bank account, and that’s when the trouble will start. it’s really easy to maintain my laserlike frugality focus when i have no money. at those times, frugality isn’t a choice—it’s the only way.

but when i have money, i lose focus. i think things like, “well, i’m not broke. i can afford to treat myself with a soda from sonic.” then it’s, “well, i’m not broke. i can afford to get a happy meal for lunch. mcdonald’s is economical. gobs of calories for so little money!” and then it’s, “i’m not broke. i can afford to get sushi for dinner. i’ll get it to go so it will be cheaper!” of course, all of this rationalizing is obviously flawed to everyone but me, and the resulting choices add up, and then i’m wondering where all my money went and why i don’t have enough cash in my account to pay my at&t bill.

i also decided to start this blog because i love to write. i’m not so great at it, but i enjoy it, and since my readership consists of me, myself, and i, i guess the quality of my posts doesn’t really matter.

my wonderful sam took me to a movie this weekend. we saw sex & the city 2. now, this should shed some light on what a terrific partner i have; i’m a major sex & the city fan, and i’ve been looking forward to this movie for months, and my (male, heterosexual, sports-loving) fiancé took me to the movie on a date. at some points i think he would rather have sawed off his big toe than be there, but he went. and he discussed the movie with me afterward. what a guy.

unfortunately, while i was impressed by sam, i was not impressed by the movie. i adored the sex & the city show because, while it was about fashion (and sex), it was mostly about the relationships between the four main characters. don’t get me wrong, i love fashion. i will pore over the pages of vogue for hours…without ever expecting to own any of the clothes on display. i understand and observe the ridiculous materialism that goes into producing an issue of vogue. but i like nice things. audrey hepburn is my style icon. i admit (somewhat abashedly, as this is intended to be a frugality blog) that i own a couple of gucci bags and a louis vuitton (i have to point out that they are all vintage and were all purchased very used on ebay at rock bottom prices, and their authenticity has been confirmed, so while it wasn’t the best use of my money, it was a great deal). i enjoy analyzing style and good taste in fashion (which, to be honest, seems to be pretty much absent in today’s pop culture). but i don’t spend time thinking that chasing a birkin bag is going to make my life better.

but back to sex & the city. even when fashion was ostensibly the main theme of the episode, there was something else to be said. like the episode when carrie got to be a model for dolce & gabbana in a fashion show—the real theme was, when you fall on your face in life, you get your butt back up and keep going. hopefully with at least a little bit of class.

the movie, however, was nothing but a display of, “look how rich we are! and look how much richer we look in abu dhabi!” and alongside it was some dreck about how, “look, middle eastern women actually like cute clothes! and they can read, too! wow!”

yeah. i will watch episodes of sex & the city on dvd until the end of time, but it’s time to let the franchise die. if they had let it go with the end of the show, it would have faded gracefully into history with its elegance still intact. now it’s going out like an old lady with makeup pancaked onto her face and sinking into her wrinkles, wearing a miniskirt and dancing on a table at a bar. you can’t look away because it’s just so horrible yet fascinating…but at the same time you just wish someone would pull her down off that table for her own good.