i might stab myself in the head with a fork.

so, in the middle of the night, yet another debit came in that overdrew my checking account...yet again. this debit was for $1--the toll that i paid when sam and i were driving back from my parents' house. for that $1, i got charged $35.

but i'm in the black again, thanks to my saintly mother. still overdue on all those bills, though.

for the past couple of days, i have had a splitting headache. like, it felt like my brain was attempting to pop out the left side of my head. it was a sick headache; i felt nauseous, and i was exhausted all the time, so i slept through most of the day today. i chalked it up to stress. i tried everything that we had to cure it--i dosed up on tylenol and slept all i could. then i realized two things.

one, i usually treat headaches with excedrin migraine, but i didn't this time. i generally keep excedrin migraine in the house, but i ran out about a week ago, and since i haven't been in a financial position to buy more, i haven't. i've been taking tylenol, which what we have in the house because it is the only pain reliever sam can take because of his ulcer.

two, i usually have one diet soda (or two, or three...) every day. but for the last couple of days, i haven't because, again, i haven't been in a financial position to replenish the refrigerator. sam and i did do some grocery shopping when we got back from my parents' house, but we did not get soda because we thought it was unnecessary--i know it's not good for me, and sam can't drink it anymore anyway...again, because of his ulcer.

three, when i woke up today, sam was fooling around with the blender, making ulcer-safe concoctions. he made one for me that had milk, half a banana, and vanilla mocha mix. sounds gross, i guess, but i gulped it down, and in a few minutes, i felt like a million bucks. well, maybe not that great, but i did feel better.

i am pretty sure this headache (not to mention the nausea and the tiredness) is a symptom of caffeine withdrawal. if i had just taken an excedrin migraine when it first started, it would have vanished, because excedrin migraine is chock full of caffeine. if i had drank my daily soda, of course it would have vanished. since i drank sam's experimental drink that had a little bit of coffee in it, my head got a lot better. but because circumstances combined in just the right way as to deny me my daily dose of caffeine, i've been in some pretty severe pain.

not that i'm complaining too much. i know soda is bad for me, anyway, and if i can get through the withdrawal and switch to water, i'll be a healthier and more financially solvent person. and i know that had i managed my money better in the first place, i would have been able to have either excedrin migraine or soda in the house, and i wouldn't be in this position. but still...it's unpleasant.

ugh.